Balloon Juice



Pole Cricket Reigns Supreme

Last month, one of my BFFs4Lyfe1 won the United States Pole Dancing Federation pole-off. (Dance-off? I don’t know. She’s number one and that’s all that matters. ::raises foam finger::)

As a result she’s been thrust into the spotlight. She was featured in Huffington Post (which I won’t link because bite me, Arianna; but if you use the Googlez, you can find it quickly enough); she’s been contacted by TMZ, she’s going to perform on The View*** next week (I’m going to try to convince her to slip some Colon Blow in to Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s coffee — she’d never do it though. She plays by the rules); and this past Monday she performed on Good Day LA.

I have seen Natasha perform at competitions a bunch of times and I have never seen her fall, nor have I been nervous that she might fall. So when my neighbor Rio texted me “Your friend is on Good Day LA. She fell but she played it off really well…Would have seemed like less but the stupid news casters rushed over and were like “r u ok” a billion times..idiots” I thought, “Oh noes!”

I rushed to turn on the TV, but of course, I missed the performance and only caught the tail end of her trying to convince the newscasters that she was fine. I then rushed to call her and she was, as she had reiterated to the newscasters, totally fine. A bit embarrassed, but fine. I told her she looks hot on TV. I don’t think that really helped at the moment.

I wanted to blog about this yesterday, including a funny picture that she took in the Green Room [after the jump] which demonstrates that she has an awesome sense of humor about her “so not a big deal” fall, but I was too nervous to watch the Good Day LA video. What if it was a total face plant? Like one of those “Greg Louganis hits his head on the diving board” moments that will replay in my mind FO-EVAH. (I’m not kidding about ol’ Louganis. He went from “hot” to “damn, he busted his head” in two seconds flat — two seconds of video that would be replayed ad nauseum during the 1980-whatever Olympics. LEAVE LOUGANIS ALOOOOOONE!!)

Finally I decided I had to watch the video. So, I just did — nervously, I might add. Every time her feet left the floor, I winced. When she hangs off the pole with her leg, I winced. When she does that crazy ass move where she’s perpendicular to the floor clinging to the pole, seemingly by her fingernails only, I winced.

And when I saw The Fall, I was relieved.


It certainly ain’t Greg Louganis bad.


In a year that, I imagine, pole dancing muckity mucks will begin making more noise about pole dancing being featured at the Olympics (if snowboarding is an Olympic sport, then pole dancing sure as hell is an Olympic sport), I’m proud that Natasha will be the face of USPDF. She’s smart as a whip. She’s also an accomplished poet (I know — she rubs your face in her awesomeness; it’s a bit much, really.)

As for pole dancing, she didn’t start until she was 29. She is not nor has she ever been a stripper or an exotic dancer. She prefers to do her routines barefoot rather than in crazy shoes (have you seen those shoes? THEY ARE BANANAS!)

If you watch these videos, you will be absolutely amazed at Natasha’s athleticism and artistic ability, and the grace she exudes. So graceful is my dear friend Natasha, that she even falls gracefully.